Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
