...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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