I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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