Even the bartender felt bad for me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize