At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
