I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize