the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
