How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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