If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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