I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
