SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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