FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's shark week go big or go home
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
