Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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