I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
