Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
