took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
