before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
