I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
