Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
