i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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