Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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