Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
