I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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