I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
