You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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