May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
