i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
