yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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