You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
