After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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