An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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