Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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