So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
