he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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