We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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