I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
