She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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