This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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