cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
