I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
