do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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