He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish life had little blips of pornography
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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