u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
