He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
