you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
