Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize