If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
