i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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