if only i could text you this smell
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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