Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
