All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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