The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
