dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she peed on how many people?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
