He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
