We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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