i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
