I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
