i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
420 ftw
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There's always time for handjobs
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
