The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
