Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
