Dual....:-)
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
