Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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