Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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